Avoiding common mistakes can significantly reduce how long your New York divorce takes and how much it costs. Many delays stem from poor preparation, emotional decision-making, financial dishonesty, fighting over insignificant items, and refusing to compromise on anything, all of which extend the process unnecessarily and increase legal expenses while keeping you stuck in limbo.

Key Takeaways:

• Coming up with a settlement proposal early on that can resolve the entire case is a smart way to control the process and reach the end faster.

• Fighting over low-value items and refusing to compromise wastes thousands in legal fees and drags out your case, while strategic prioritization moves you toward resolution faster.

• Letting emotions drive every decision and hiding assets both create longer timelines and higher costs than future-focused strategic thinking would achieve.

Divorce takes long enough without adding unnecessary delays, yet many people unknowingly make mistakes that stretch out the process for months or even years. The good news? Most of these delays are completely avoidable once you know what to watch for.

Understanding the common mistakes that slow down New York divorces helps you move through the process more efficiently. Whether you're just starting to consider divorce or you've already filed, knowing what not to do can save you time, money, and frustration.

Mistake #1: Waiting Too Long to Come Up With a Global Settlement Proposal 

Many people approach divorce reactively, waiting to see what their spouse proposes before thinking about what they actually want. This passive approach hands control to the other side and often leads to months of back-and-forth negotiations that could have been avoided.

A global settlement proposal addresses all major issues at once: property division, spousal support, custody arrangements (if applicable), and debt allocation. When you present a comprehensive proposal early in the process, you set the tone for negotiations and give everyone a clear starting point for discussions.

Early proposals demonstrate that you're serious about reaching resolution. They show you've thought carefully about fair outcomes and are ready to negotiate in good faith. Even if your spouse doesn't accept your initial proposal, it gets negotiations moving and often speeds up the entire process.

Waiting until later in the case to propose settlements means you've already spent months (and thousands of dollars) in legal limbo. Discovery drags on. Court dates pile up. Legal fees accumulate. Meanwhile, a settlement you could have reached in month two doesn't happen until month twelve.

How to avoid this mistake: Work with your attorney early to develop a realistic settlement proposal that addresses all key issues. Consider what matters most to you and what compromises you can live with. Present this proposal within the first few months of the case. Even if negotiations take time, starting early gives you the best chance of reaching resolution before the case becomes unnecessarily complicated and expensive. Taking control of the process from day one puts you in the driver's seat instead of just reacting to whatever comes your way!

Mistake #2: Fighting over Things That Don't Matter

Emotional attachment to certain items during divorce is natural. That dining room table holds memories. The artwork reminds you of better times. But spending weeks negotiating over household items that could be replaced for a few hundred dollars costs you thousands in legal fees and delays your entire case.

The courts care about fair division of significant marital assets. Fighting over used furniture, kitchen appliances, or decorations wastes everyone's time and money. Every hour spent arguing about who gets the coffee maker is an hour not spent on issues that actually impact your financial future.

How to avoid this mistake: Before negotiations begin, make a list of what truly matters to you. Focus on high-value items, things with genuine sentimental significance, or assets that affect your financial stability. Be willing to compromise on everything else. Remember that replacing most household items costs far less than the legal fees you'll rack up fighting over them. Pick your battles wisely and keep your eyes on the bigger picture.

Mistake #3: Letting Your Emotions Take Over

Divorce stirs up powerful emotions. You're dealing with anger, hurt, betrayal, grief, and fear all at once. These feelings are completely valid and normal. The problem comes when you make important legal and financial decisions based solely on those emotions rather than strategic thinking about your future.

When you're in the thick of it, certain decisions feel satisfying in the moment. Refusing to give your spouse anything they want feels like justice. Fighting for something just because they want it feels like winning. Dragging out negotiations because you're not ready to let go feels like maintaining control. But these emotion-driven choices often work against your own best interests.

Strategic divorce decisions consider both your immediate feelings and your long-term goals. Yes, you're angry right now, and that anger deserves acknowledgement. But will this decision serve you well five years from now? Will it help you move forward or keep you stuck? Does it protect what truly matters or just provide temporary emotional satisfaction?

How to avoid this mistake: Build a support system that includes people who serve different roles. Friends and family offer emotional support and understanding. A therapist helps you healthily process complex feelings. Your attorney provides legal guidance and helps you think strategically about decisions that affect your future. Lean on each person for what they do best. 

When facing a big decision, ask yourself: "Am I making this choice because it's smart for my future, or because I'm hurt and angry right now?" Both feelings matter, but your future deserves the most sound decisions.

Mistake #4: Hiding Assets or Being Dishonest About Finances

Some people think they can hide money, undervalue property, or fail to disclose certain assets during divorce. This always backfires. New York law requires full financial disclosure, and attorneys know how to find hidden assets through subpoenas, forensic accountants, and discovery tools.

When the court discovers financial dishonesty (and it usually does), the consequences are severe. The judge loses trust in everything you say. You face potential sanctions, penalties, and attorney fee awards. Your spouse's attorney becomes more aggressive. The case that could have been settled amicably now heads to trial. What you thought would save you money ends up costing you far more.

Beyond legal consequences, hiding assets destroys any chance of an amicable resolution. Once trust breaks down completely, negotiations become nearly impossible. Your spouse digs in harder on every issue. Settlement discussions stall. The case drags on for months or years longer than necessary.

How to avoid this mistake: Be completely transparent about your finances from day one. Disclose every account, asset, debt, and income source. If you're unsure whether something needs to be disclosed, err on the side of caution and include it. Work with your attorney to present your financial situation accurately. Honesty speeds up the process and preserves the possibility of reasonable negotiations with your spouse.

Mistake #5: Refusing to Compromise on Anything

Some people approach divorce with a "scorched earth" mentality. They refuse to budge on any issue, determined to "win" every single point. This attitude guarantees a long, expensive, contentious divorce that probably ends up in trial.

New York is an equitable distribution state, meaning the court divides assets fairly based on numerous factors. Fair doesn't mean equal, and it definitely doesn't mean you get everything you want. Judges have broad discretion, and trial outcomes are unpredictable. You might spend $50,000 or more fighting for something in court, only to have the judge rule against you anyway.

The cases that resolve quickly share one thing in common: both parties recognize that compromise is necessary. You don't have to give in on everything, but picking a few key priorities and showing flexibility on others demonstrates good faith. This approach encourages your spouse to reciprocate, creating momentum toward settlement.

How to avoid this mistake: Before negotiations begin, identify your top three to five priorities. These are the issues worth fighting for because they significantly impact your future. On everything else, stay flexible and willing to negotiate. Remember that settling gives you control over the outcome, while going to trial puts your fate entirely in a judge's hands. Most people find that a reasonable compromise gets them to a better place faster than stubborn inflexibility.

Keep Your Eyes on the Future

These five mistakes share a common thread: they keep you stuck in the past instead of focused on your future. Divorce isn't about punishing your spouse or winning every argument. The goal is to reach a fair resolution that allows you to move forward with your life as quickly as possible.

Every delay costs you time and money. More importantly, it keeps you in limbo, unable to fully start your next chapter. Being strategic about your divorce means making decisions that serve your long-term interests, even when your emotions push you in a different direction.

Quick tips for keeping your divorce moving:

• Respond promptly to requests for information or documents

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• Show up prepared for all meetings and court dates

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• Communicate clearly and professionally with your spouse when necessary

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• Stay organized and track all important deadlines

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• Focus on solutions rather than problems

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• Keep your attorney informed of any significant changes

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• Make decisions based on facts and future goals, not anger or hurt

The divorce process has enough built-in delays without adding unnecessary ones. Court schedules, mandatory waiting periods, and legal requirements create timeline constraints you can't control. But you can control how you approach the process and whether you make common mistakes that slow everything down.

Get Strategic Support from Hannon De Palma

At Hannon De Palma, we've seen how these mistakes derail divorces and cost people unnecessary time and money. Our approach focuses on moving your case forward efficiently while protecting your interests and advocating for fair outcomes.

With over 170 years of combined experience and knowledge of New York courts and judges, our team knows what works and what wastes time. We start working on day one, developing strategies tailored to your specific situation and goals. Our virtual platform makes it easy to stay connected and responsive without the hassle of in-person meetings.

99% of our cases resolve before trial because we focus on practical solutions and know when compromise serves your interests better than continued fighting. If you're ready to move through your divorce strategically and efficiently, we're here to guide you.

Let's talk about your situation and create a plan that gets you to your future faster. Contact us today to book your free case evaluation! 

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